A Reflection for 2015
This would be my first personal entry in the blog as some of my readers would like to know me more as a person and understand my character and values.
With a very heavy heart, I decided to write about my incident with a friend (who has since un-friended me on Facebook as well).
I was very angry and struggled to control my emotions during and after the incident.
This long-time friend of more than 5 years was never really close, but I admire his direct way getting things done.
A few years ago, he helped start a charity distributing packets of rice to the needy elderly in rental flats and I was really impressed by the lack of fanfare associated with the charity.
No loud trumpets saying "We did this, we did that" or "We are such kind souls". That's my kind of charity.
Unfortunately that seem to be in the past from my recent incident.
He has since ignored my calls and I still feel his reaction is really over the top.
This has been all a misunderstanding from my point of view, but there is a good chance it may never clear.
Some friends have remarked that a blog-post would instead give more publicity to the group, but I thought if the elderly could benefit, it would be a good thing and the ends may indeed justify the means.
Let's start from the very beginning of the conversation.
(Screenshots were taken in 2 parts, hence the time difference.)
I chanced upon this blogger (apologies for getting her name wrong) posting about joining the distribution from another of my friends' Instagram feed and got curious. I remember he was upset about (actor) Terrence Cao regarding one of the distributions. (which I shall not elaborate since I do not really know the details.)
Therefore, I wanted to ask if he is in the know.
As I mentioned, I do not really know this blogger, but her feed does seem to be after the glam from my view.
I believe that charity is from sincerity and not for publicity.
One of my favourite musicals, Evita, has this line:
The chorus girl hasn't learned the lines you'd like to hear
She won't go scrambling over the backs of the poor to be accepted
By making donations just large enough to the correct charity
- Evita (courtesy of http://www.madonnalyrics.org/evita2.html#actress)
For the non-Singaporeans, 'cui' refers to being fragile.
In response, this friend turned nasty and accuse me of judging him (which I really didn't.)
At this point, I was evidently angry and my mind was fighting the emotive fire to retaliate.
Even after saying I was trying to find out more, he continued his barrage of unkind comments.
In my defense, I do help charities, although not the one he is running.
Are friends obliged to help any friend who run a charity?
Of course, I continued to resist the urge to defend myself to not accelerate in the direction the conversation was heading.
The personal attacks came soon enough.
I never did say I 'do not like' the blogger and the truth is that I do not know her well and even got her name wrong! (Apologies again for that)
His assumption is clear here.
Sadly, the doubt is not with me but in his interpretation of my statements.
I have really no idea why he was reacting so negatively.
Maybe he should write a post about this. Perhaps the frame of mind may change as one re-reads and re-considers the situation.
I really did want to help with the distributions at some point in time but my work on Sundays prevented me to.
He often remarked on social media that he had more than enough help as well as there were many sponsors. That definitely made me feel there was no real need for my assistance.
I tried calling him in another attempt to clarify the situation, but it was futile.
I attempted to contact him via calling a few more times as well as on another day. Regrettably, success was not on the cards.
As 2015 closes, I lament the loss of this friend, but I rejoice in the company of the many more.
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
- Auld Lang Syne
Thank you to all my friends for your friendship, support, presence and patience.
Wishing everyone a Happy New Year of 2016, filled with joy, bliss, opportunities and good health.
fred
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